My inner alchemy: something old and something new

Since August last year, I have settled down in Italy, start to learn an entirely new (yet so beautiful) language and live every bit of excitement and frustration coming along with the Italian culture. There is a surprisingly familiar feeling in this new land to me, I feel like a stranger found my home.

Meanwhile I am also returning to my own deep Chinese root. Through studying and getting playful with I Ching, the old Chinese Book of Change, I discovered many new aspects of changes in life, how things are connected, how connected we are from within to without.

My "old" and "new" are having this Ying and Yang dance, or rather, an alchemical merge... I keep on discovering something "old" in the "new" I experience, and likewise something "new" in the "old" I heritage. That's when the fun starts. :-)

Finding "something old" in that "something new" I experience, I come home. For italians, body and language are never separated. Its a language comes to life through "embody". And when I say embody, it means full body participation not only the motion of the arms, the expression on the face, but in particular, also the reaction from the heart.

I feel utterly frustrated at the beginning that I don't understand a word and the Italians speak really fast! But soon I am much more relaxed, not because I mastered the Italian, but because my 70 years old neighbour Rossana. Every time we happen to run into each other, she will grab my arm like any Italian mama will do, and touch my face and look straight into my eyes and say "Mia carina...... (bla bla bla)..." even though I don't understand what she says exactly, but my heart melt instantly. And we end up exchanging vegetables and eggs like in good old days what neighbours do. Not every Italian are like that (too bad), but having Rosanna did that to me since our first encountering, my heart is open to receive any melting energy every time when I was talking (or trying to talk) to some Italians. That feeling is very familiar. Just like when I was a baby in my mum's arms, I do not understand a word she says, but just the look, the tone, the music how she talks, make me understand perfectly well the infinite connection and love between us.

I start to realise, in all the years of growth afterwards, how over-utilised my mind has become, and how under-utilised the heart is in my history of communication.

With this new language handicap, I am back to my baby stage. I give up trying to understand every word, but listen with my open heart, let that beautiful Italian tone notes rest on the string of my heart, let my eyes catch the sparkles of the eyes in front of me, and let my body to embody whatever I babble out subsequently... Amazingly in this way, I understand the context much better. And even when I and my conversation partner didn't grasp all what we said to each other, I walk away feeling connected. Isn't the connection anyway the primary purpose of the communication?

So I learned my first lesson here in Italy: words are not important, at least not as important as the heart-felt connection. And soon as my heart found that something old (the feeling of connected) in the “something new”(new language, new people, new norms, new country), I am not anymore a wanderer, I am home.

Discovering "something new" in that "something old", I travel further.

Every Chinese knows about I Ching. But most know it only by name. Not so many dig into it. In fact I found more enthusiastic practitioners in western culture instead (grass is always greener at neighbour's yard). I myself also only grow interested into it a few years ago. Then I understand why it had survived the long long history yet why it's difficult ever become a fashion: It's such a complex work to chew on. 64 signs resemble 64 situations. Each contains a university in itself. The inter-connection of the pair signs, and the infinite possibility of the combination of the signs illustrate the transformation makes nearly impossible for human brain to work out all the knowledge/wisdom it contains.

I remember the first year when I was reading a I Ching book, it was my sleeping pill. The second year I start to take notes, the third year I seek some advanced expert to consult with, the fourth year I start to apply in my life events. And now the fifth year? I start to integrate in my coaching sessions. I find it like a well, the more you draw upon it, the more resourceful it becomes... And after having exhausted all the efforts of trying to memorise each individual sign's meanings, somehow the bottleneck is broken through. The connection starts to show and things become simpler. And I grow hungrier and hungrier while feeling humbler and humbler. It feeds me the fresh nutrition I need to cultivate my inner self with every situation I turn to it, making some new connections that I've never made before ...

Mind the cultivation, not the harvest. The endurance and joy of doing brings me to my destination whatever it shall be. I go bold in experimenting: The life’s postcard combines my heart’s voice with eye’s visualization; The I Ching consulting session become a meaningful co-creation with my clients; Self-coaching in difficult situations; Applying in parenting to cultivate the relationships…. Everyday I discover something new. Then with that "something new" (the new connection I can make) discovered in "something old" I heritage (the Chinese root, the collective wisdom torch with thousands year of history which must carried on), I travel further.

Here I am: in an Italy suburb, limited by my vocabulary yet unlimited by the power from the heart to connect. And this I do: experimenting the inner and outer alchemy with the book of Change, limited in the words I can explain but unlimited in the way I can apply and embody....

I am "home" because of the connection in the new land. I “travel” further because of the renewed energy from my root.